What can I do for you?
Below are some examples of career counselling sessions where this has helped the person in their personal lives too.
Susie: Susie was brilliant at smiling at the world and projecting an image of being confident, happy and successful. Reality was that she hated her job and felt disappointed by life. She was also desperate to find the man of her dreams, and it just wasn’t happening.
I helped Susie to realize that the image she was projecting was not her true self. By exploring who she was and what she wanted out of life, this allowed Susie to gradually change things that made her unhappy and start becoming the person she really wanted to be with plenty of support on the way.
John: John worked really hard to get to his management position and he has done it. He earns a fantastic salary and has a great lifestyle. Problem is he worked so hard that he has neglected the people in his life and now finds that his relationships are suffering. He can’t work out how to communicate with those he loves but feels angry all the time.
I helped John to step back from his world and see it from another perspective in order to put himself in the shoes of those around him. John was then able to come to terms with his own feelings and rethink the balance of his life. Gradually, John learned how to communicate with his family and friends and realize how valuable they are to him. John had homework after each session so that he could try out the things we had discussed in the session.
Julie: Julie was made redundant from the job she loved a year ago. She thought it would be easy to find a job, but has had so many rejections that she now wonders what is wrong with her. She has lost her confidence and is feeling anxious and depressed.
Julie couldn’t see the wood for the trees. I helped her to come to terms with the losses she had undergone and then to explore the different options available to her. We set some short-term goals and some longer-term ones in order for Julie to see and check her progress. This allowed her to get to a place of knowing herself and feeling able to change direction with a positive outlook.
Bob: Bob loved playing tennis. He recently retired so finally got the time to play as much as he liked and was heavily involved in his tennis club and arranging tournaments. It was his life. But now his world is shattered. He has developed a terrible skin problem, an itchy rash which is exacerbated by the sun. His doctors have told him to stay indoors but they can’t find out what is wrong. Bob thinks he will go mad if he can’t play tennis.
I listened to Bob. Together we explored his feelings, and reflected on the part tennis played in his life. Bob didn’t know whether his health would improve so it was important for him to learn to live with uncertainty and to plan ahead for change. Gradually Bob acknowledged that he may not be able to continue playing tennis and experimented with some new ways of living. And he found that he could live without tennis.
Andrea: Andrea has been diagnosed with Aspergers. She had a difficult childhood but has learned ways of adapting her behaviour and is now very successful in her professional field. However, she feels that she has never been able to make friends because she finds social situations like parties are awkward and challenging. She is worried that she will be lonely all her life if she doesn’t overcome this.
I helped Andrea to acknowledge her own value and to increase her self-esteem. We explored some of the interests and hobbies she was interested in and I encouraged her to take some small steps towards building herself a social life. We looked at some of Andrea’s beliefs about herself and put them to the test. Andrea came to realize that she had the power to make the sort of life she wanted, by drawing on her past successes and by experimenting to see what works for her and what doesn’t.